Harry Potter and the twin jokers
by Guitarer09
Summary: Fred and George have been captured by Volderot. I mean Voldemort. Anyway, the twins decide to have 'fun' with the big guy nothing sexual, just good humor. COMPLETED!
1. Chapter one, an interesting conflict

Harry Potter and the twin jokers  
  
Chapter one, an interesting conflict  
  
"Well, well, well, it looks like I have two Weaslys on my hands." Voldemort sneered. "For the sake of politeness I will ask your names. So, what are your names?"  
  
"Well, this is brother Forge, and I'm Gred." Said one of the Weaslys.  
  
"But you can call us Fred and George Weasly." The other said. "Or you can call us both the prank brothers."  
  
Voldemort stared at the two Weasly twins through narrowed eyes. He then started laughing a cruel, evil laugh which made Fred and George start laughing as well.  
  
"Silence!" Voldemort screamed. "No one laughs unless I say so!" Fred and George stopped laughing and shot each other a 'this is going to be fun' smirk.  
  
"Ok then, my name is 'I' and he's 'My'" Fred grinned. "So I say, laugh" And together Fred and George started laughing their heads off and even Voldemort cracked a smile.  
  
"I have an idea, you two will work for me and I will spare your lives." Voldemort said. "You two will be my jokers."  
  
Fred and George looked at each other and said: "Naahh"  
  
Voldemort's face turned red with anger. "You dare refuse my generous offer?"  
  
"Yes" Fred and George said in unison.  
  
"Hey Voldy can we interest you in some ton-tongue-toffees?" George asked suddenly.  
  
"Yes they are very exquisite. Simply give one to a person you don't like and their tongues will grow to become the size of an over sized anaconda" Fred said.  
  
"You can buy one bag and get another free for one galleon." George said. "Just look at what some of our testers have to say!" George pulled out a few pictures of some people with over sized tongues hanging out of their mouths. Including a picture of Dudley Dursley on the floor with his tongue hanging out and aunt Petunia trying to yank it out of the whal... Uh, I mean Dudley's mouth.  
  
Voldemort stared at the pictures for a minute. Then two minutes. Then three. After another minute or so the dark lord began to laugh. And it wasn't his normal evil laugh. It was a 'that's hilarious!' laugh.  
  
"You two made these?" he asked finally.  
  
"Well yeah." Fred shrugged.  
  
"You think we just stole them? Well let me tell you, we're not THAT sort of prank masters." George said.  
  
"You two really made these?" Voldemort said.  
  
"Yep"  
  
"What else have you made?"  
  
"Well let's see, there's the electro-gravy, and believe me, that stuff is fun. All you have to do is eat it and WHAM you become a walking lumos spell," Fred said.  
  
"Yeah, and then there's the kitty cups, those make whoever drinks out of them cough up hairballs for about ten minutes. And the multi flavored gum can sometimes bring out, shall we say, the last thing you ate." George counted off his fingers.  
  
"One of our more interesting projects is the instant swamp, now THERE'S something that you can have fun with. Oh yeah and the wet book. Open it and you get a shower before you even get out of the library."  
  
"My personal favorite is the canary creams. Have someone eat one and bingo! Instant canary!"  
  
"And we have even more than that!" And together the Weasly twins started listing all of their prank items. And if the stupid writer would get off his rump, he might just list some of them.  
  
No thanks narrator that I invented. I think I'll just leave at that. But of course, I won't end the story.  
  
Come on, list them!  
  
No.  
  
Yes.  
  
No.  
  
Yes.  
  
No and if you don't shut up I'll delete you! Then I might just go to 'rent a narrator' and rent someone else.  
  
Ooo, I'm quivering in my shoes.  
  
You don't have shoes!  
  
I might if you pay me!  
  
I don't need to pay you. You said three years ago 'I'll work for free from now on.'  
  
I don't remember that.  
  
I do.  
  
Who cares about you?  
  
Family, friends, pets.  
  
So what?  
  
I'm going to rip you apart if you don't shut up.  
  
I'm inside the computer so you can't get to me. Unless you want to tear it apart that is.  
  
Well that's extremely tempting you little ferret face!  
  
You've been reading too much Harry Potter mate.  
  
Who's the one speaking in a British accent?  
  
Me! I'm British!  
  
No you're not, you're not even alive!  
  
*punch* Yes I am!  
  
*Punches back* No you're not!  
  
*Kicks head* Am so!  
  
*Breaks nose* No you're not!  
  
*Punches using brass knuckles* You've seen the Terminator!  
  
That's a freaking movie!  
  
So what? It could happen!  
  
Fat chance.  
  
*Trips*  
  
*Sigh* I'll be back. *Rips off narrator's ears.*  
  
End of chapter, tune in next time for next chapter. ________________________________________________________________________ 


	2. Chapter two, the end

Harry Potter and the twin jokers  
  
Chapter two: The end  
  
Ok, we're back and me and the narrator has straighten things out, right narrator?  
  
Yep, and now we are cool and ready to finish up here.  
  
Ready narrator?  
  
Oh yeah, but before we start, I have a request.  
  
Ok, what is that?  
  
GET ME OFF THIS STUPID BURNING STAKE!  
  
Nah, I think I'll just leave you there and do this thing myself. So, on with the story!  
  
Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasly stunned three death eaters and kept walking.  
  
"How far until we reach them?" Ron asked Harry.  
  
"No too far now, should only be another three minutes." Harry replied.  
  
"This is taking forever" Hermione groaned.  
  
"Zip it Hermione, we're almost there" Ron snapped. Hermione gave Ron's back a dirty look and pulled out a book on how to boredness.  
  
Ron glanced over his shoulder and groaned.  
  
"Do you have to read a book wherever you go?" he asked.  
  
"Well it's better than talking about wizard chess and Quiditch!" Hermione snapped.  
  
"Nothing is better than Quiditch! Not even girls!" Ron yelled.  
  
"Shut it you two, we're here." Harry whispered loudly. Ron and Hermione glared at each other before nodding.  
  
Harry sighed and took out his wand.  
  
"Blastious!" He yelled. The door was immediately blown off it's hinges only to reveal a laughing Fred, George, and Voldemort.  
  
"An, and then she said 'this is the coolest thing ever!" George laughed.  
  
"That was hilarious!" Voldemort laughed. "Tell another one."  
  
"Ok, let's see, I was just talking to this guy who wanted to buy our shop and..." George looked noticed Harry. "Hiya Harry, we were just trading stories around, want to join us?"  
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione just gaped at the three laughing people.  
  
"Yes Potter, come join us! I'm sure you've got some good ones." Voldemort laughed.  
  
"Uh," Ron said.  
  
"What the heck is going on here?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well you see Harry, Voldy here wanted to hire us but we said no, so then he threatened to kill us but we just showed him some of our merchandise. He liked them and he started telling him so of our ideas. We liked them and wrote them down. Come take a look at some this stuff, it's ingenious!" Fred said.  
  
"Uh, alright..." Harry walked over and took the list of prank items and read it. "Voldemort thought this up?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"Yep" George said.  
  
Harry started the list for a while then beckoned Ron and Hermione over. They read it and started laughing along with Harry.  
  
"This stuff would bring in more money than the ministry has!" Hermione laughed.  
  
"It's great isn't it? Instead of him hiring us, we hired him! So now, we have an employee!" Fred said.  
  
"Why don't we go take a look at your shop? I've been wanting to see it since you told me about it" Voldemort said.  
  
"Ok" everyone said and together they all walked out of the room.  
  
END  
  
________________________________________________________________________  
  
A/N: And? I know it was kind of stupid but I don't really care. I HAD to write this or else my head may have exploded. That would have sucked. Even if it's over, I still want you to R/R!  
  
GET ME OFF THIS BURNING STAKE OR I'M CALLING THE COPS! I MEAN IT! I'LL TELL THEM YOU'RE ALL READING AN ILLEGAL FANFIC! (Even if it really IS legal). BUT GET ME OFF THIS STAKE ANYWAY! 


End file.
